A Wish Full of Dreams

Expectations: I feel that when I write about expectations and how to cope with everyday circumstances, my views are a bit optimistic, if not unrealistic; because there has been little in my life I have wanted but haven’t received. And I try to approach this with the understanding that God’s mysterious grace has been the result of my comfortable life, instead of allowing my usually self-induced arrogance to take the credit. This makes things interesting then, as my “charmed” life is truly a product of grace, not created by my own volition, but interceded by a God who has wished to grant me beautiful things. Before I get tangential, I think what I’m trying to say is that I’m starting to wonder at my own advice for how human expectations work, because they come from the viewpoint of one who has never had to ask the question, “Just how uncomfortable is God’s plan for my life?” I wonder how I’ll react when I finally reach this point.

John 6.68: Jesus has just addressed the Jews in saying He wasn’t going to the political Messiah they were all expecting. Instead, He speaks, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves.” People start to walk away. The couple hundred followers He had desert Him. Then He poses this question to the twelve, “You do not want to go away also, do you?” Peter replies, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.”

To whom shall we go… When you truly experience Christ, the thought of leaving Him summons this desperate question. After one taste of Christ, everything else pales in comparison, and this enriching fulfillment He presents weakens my very knees.

Swear to your own hurt: I had always followed this verse within the context of personal relationship. It always dealt with sacrifice for the other person, and putting them before yourself, but I’m beginning to wonder what it means for our goals and wants. For example, there are things I want more than anything and they’re accessible most days, but when presented, I know I shouldn’t take it. Usually I do, not caring to listen to God, but at the end of the day feel guilty and either repent or just avoid any confrontation with Him at all. Not the best way to live. As I pondered on this verse, I thought about what it meant to sacrifice my longing for this thing, and instead be fulfilled with the grace that God has said is good and sufficient. What I mean is, I need to replace my desire for this seemingly sinful longing, and instead be satisfied with the grace that God would like to give otherwise. Because that grace is pure and perfect, and better than anything else I may want or deserve. It’s never too late to start.


~ by Chris Kyle on July 24, 2010.

2 Responses to “A Wish Full of Dreams”

  1. i love this! although the idea of swear to your own hurt has applied for you in terms of learning how to make selfless commitment in human relationships, it is absolutely a wonderful way of re-phrasing the prayer that Jesus prayed in the garden on His way to the cross: “Thy will be done.” no matter what it costs, follow Him.

  2. Perhaps I’m jaded, but I feel like this is all easier to saying coming from that “charmed” life. As one who leads a perhaps less charmed life, I seem to have lost your optimism. I’m not sure what I think about this.

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