The Golden Spirit – Part 2

*…march 13…*

As much as I’d like to get lost in my own musings, what I’m trying to get at – and I revert back to the beginning of my post – is the issue of discernment. Bantum was whipping out quips left and right in telling us what discernment should be done from the perspective of asking questions, and evaluating our motives. We should be able to say and ask:

“Is my faithfulness somehow unfaithful?”
“I don’t know what I think I know.”
“How are our lives together helping each other more clearly?”
“Is this something I am trying to accomplish for myself?”
“The Church is a group of people who have heard, and should admit that they are a group of people who struggle to hear.”

My only struggle with all this is that it leaves me in a vulnerable state of questioning where I need to trust God in His ability to speak to me through the Spirit within myself, and through the Spirit within others. I’ve seen so much good in my life when I am able to do this, though, where God seems to mold me so wonderfully; but at the same time I’ve seen my life crash with disappointment where the spirit I was following was indeed not the Spirit I thought. I suppose it’d be easy to say that I’ve reached another impasse, but I think I’ve more reclaimed something that I once had with the experience of retrospection on my side. Even though I’ve got trust issues that run deeper than I thought, I think I need to put myself back on the brink I once stood with the belief that I’ll be taken care of. I also think this is where I need to take to heart what Deb says and surround myself with people I can trust. However, I also need to understand that these people aren’t perfect and they’ll inevitably let me down. Dang imperfections.

So here You go, God! I humbly admit that I have no idea what I’m doing and that so many times my faithfulness has been nothing more than an ideology laced in fear and unbelief. Please help me to be faithful. And please help me to trust that the Spirit can work in speaking truth into my life. Help me to remember my prayers for wisdom, and help me to not be blinded to what You may have to say. Keep me from trusting in my own volitions, and please never take from me my ability to see beauty.

Lastly, I read this the other day and loved it dearly:

“Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.” – 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

We’ve been called holy, people. Let’s embrace this oh so fine truth.


~ by Chris Kyle on March 13, 2010.

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