Everyday Combat

Max and I were having another light saber battle yesterday and whenever we begin a competitive activity he begins to talk trash like it’s nobody’s business. In the midst of getting walloped (he was very good that day) he mentioned that the only way I could stop him was by destroying his secret jewel he kept stashed away in the hideout we just built. Fortunately enough, I’d seen this jewel glimmering just minutes before we headed out into the field, so I took leave and dashed towards the gem in the hopes that I may end this battle earlier than expect. And I was quickly granted my wish. When I ran over Max was right behind me, going full speed, and attempted to stop before he hit the post in front of him, but instead slid on the bark and in full-force slammed his face into a wooden edge. I can still picture the scene in slow motion as he experienced whiplash and fell to the ground bleeding profusely from his eye and arm. I carried him over to the grass, realized I won the duel, and administered first aid like the super manny I am! His arm had the most peculiar cuts because it consisted of a bunch of little scratches running perpendicular from his wrist to elbow, all about an inch or two wide. His eye was the worst though as it began to swell and there was this little blood pocked formed (okay, this is getting really gross now) right above his left eye and it wouldn’t stop bleeding no matter how many times I cleaned it. We went inside and after looking around the house I realized the only band-aids present were tiny, little ones nowhere near the size I was looking for. So I thought to myself, “How can I effectively and awesomely put together the most awesome band-aid of all time to make Max feel like a complete stud all the while covering his entire wound?” I quickly grabbed some scissors, cut up some band-aids, pieced them together, and made this massive band-aid that would blow any seven-year-old’s mind away. After putting on my homemade band-aid, I took a look at the eye, realized it wasn’t looking good, but figured another makeshift band-aid would do the trick to at least tide him over until his parents came home. So I used my band-aid cutting skills and created one of those tiny slit band-aids that UFC fighters put on their cuts after getting elbowed to the face. With accuracy and patience, we managed to fit it perfectly above his eye and he immediately looked like the most hardcore kid I’d ever seen in my life. He was embarrassed by the little drooping eye he now had because the cut was so close, but to nullify this I took a pirate eye patch out of his toy box, told him to put it on, and then we went out into the world and played at a place called Jump Planet where a room is filled with nothing but inflatable bouncy objects. Survival of the fittest, baby.

Right now we’ve got the house together along with Nick and it’s been a complete scramble to find what food to eat tonight. We’ve just recently gotten back from Essential Bakery after stocking up on food for the week, and remembered that we’d bought potatoes two weeks ago, so dinner came down to carbs and… starch. Dang it. However, after much improvising, and the brilliant mind of Adam Waldo’s mother, we somehow managed to scrounge up enough stuff to make a salad with mondo carrots, potato slices covered in cheese, spices, and oil, bread with goat cheese, and grilled chicken. Yes. Now we’re watching Fellowship of the Ring, a movie I haven’t seen since seventh grade, and it’s rocking my world. Funny how I’ve had Nick’s posters plastered all over my room this past year and I haven’t seen the movies except for the first, which was years ago. It’s all making sense now looking back on the multiple times Nick says he wishes himself a hobbit…

Lastly, I started reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. It’s about this character, a man of unmatched beauty, who has inherited a sum of money from his dead parents. Because of this, he is a youthful, wealthy man with no guidance, yet still holds such an innocence about him that all who come in contact are immediately captured by his mystique and virtue. I’m only three chapters in, but it seems like there are two other characters that play an impactful role on Dorian’s character – one who praises and reveres him, and another who speaks somewhat truthful, yet misleading messages that begin to lead Dorian astray. The only other thing I’ve been told about this book is that a painting is made of Dorain and instead of him aging in real life, the picture instead ages and transforms based off the sins that Dorian commits until it ends in a macabre image of hideousness.

Last day of work tomorrow, and then it’s the weekend. Wah wah wah!

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~ by Chris Kyle on June 24, 2009.

2 Responses to “Everyday Combat”

  1. Mmmm Hobbit joy!

  2. Starch and carbs . . . unavoidable parts of the post-dorm college diet. It makes me appreciate Gwinn, because DAMN, meat is expensive. And dairy, and fruit, and anything good for you. But carbs and starches are CHEAP.

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